What If

I am sure I am not alone when I say that I anticipate the future. I continue to peak around every corner of my life, wondering "What is next?" Even if I am not deliberately doing it, the minute I close my eyes my mind wanders in spaces it can't do when I am engaging in the living, waking world. If I close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep, my dreams will make it clear where my subconscious wants to take me. I literally can not escape it. And yet, as part of my soul searching, I tend to take a different view these days of pesky thoughts. Instead of thinkging in circles or ignoring them altogether, I peel them away by layers. What do I feel? Why do I feel it? Confronting these thoughts and then exposing them for the angst- ridden pests that they are truly lets me know again and again that I can not be a crystal ball. I have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring or if tomorrow will even happen. Looking around for the next big thing is a sure sign that I am not in my right place. If I turned back the clock, I could easily say that today is and always has been the next big thing. Dealing with this simple revelation of relativity always brings me back to the moment and slows everything down. The anticipation of tomorrow always reminds me of what I do not have, what I am lacking and how I need to get there. Contrary to what most people believe, getting there is really only important if you know where you want to go. We can always have goals to reach, but what is really important is the feelings that we have when we reach them. If constantly getting somewhere only makes you want to be somewhere else, the journey may ultimately feel rather pointless. Anxiety over the future also brings a lot of negative emotions which translate directly into negative energy, and like attracts like, and so on and so forth. The more anticipation and anxiety build up, the harder it is for the things we want to find us in the fog of negative thinking. There is definitely a fight or flight instinct that kicks in to make this very difficult, as human beings, to not anticipte the dangers of the future. However, it is mindfulness of your thoughts that makes you uniquely human and it is in our power and control to shift your thoughts from surviving to thriving. Using your humanity to attract powerful thoughts by simply not giving in to primal instinct and knowing the difference between fear and anxiety- real threat versus perceived threat- will change your life. When you are in danger, you will be distinctly aware. But if you are basing your life on "what if" thoughts, you are only a danger to yourself.